Ok, the video is called I’m Gay and it’s a coming out video by an amazing 1/4 of the Try Guys, Eugene Lee Yang (Asians – represent!). But for me the message behind it is about being yourself. Unapologetically. Be who you are and let others be. Ram.
PS: I love his jade outfit in the end! And Odesza’s tune!!
I’ve been reading about energy work and kundalini and stumbled upon this meditation. It is not for faint hearted as it requires sitting straight for an hour. It took me a couple of days to actually last for an hour, I usually meditate for 20min max. But once I got the logistics right, the experience was amazing. Oh, and the photo is from around where I live.
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/kundalini/comments/1tg8gy/an_advanced_method/
This quote sums up my life at the moment 🙂 Uncertainty, here I come! Open the void… This week is the last week at my job, a start of my mini retirement and several personal projects 🙂
In Netflix’s documentary on Ram Dass a young devotee is performing a Sita Ram song in Ram Dass’s house. The performance is so beautiful that I returned to it and replayed it many times after I watched the documentary. Now thanks to the Internet knowledge hub that is Reddit (this thread specifically) I know that this guy’s name is Mu (or Evan Bushnell) and his beautiful rendition can be streamed and enjoyed here:
As I listen a lotus of love is opening in my heart while tears stream down my face… So, so beautiful. Namaste.
I remember going to the shaman because although I had a good life on the face of it, it was bleak as if something was missing. And she told me that I stopped feeling joy.
She told me that to find joy one can not overthink it (my overactive mind was already formulating a ‘joy search plan’), set goals or take it too seriously, in fact the key to finding it is to chill. At the time I didn’t fully understand what she meant but I started doing more of the stuff I enjoyed, ‘soul food’, which helped.
Learning more about the buddhist view taught me where and how to find joy. It’s right here. We don’t need to chase it or collect the experiences. We just have to quieten down enough to see it. Below is my answer on Quora.
Purpose is not about ‘what should I do’ but rather ‘who am I and how can I act in a manner that is true to myself?’
Mind blown.
We are fulfilling our soul’s purpose just by being here and being who we are.
Source: https://www.annasayce.com/how-to-find-your-calling-as-a-lightworker/
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When you feel the familiar chill of the void opening within you, the deafening vibration of the growing vacuum, the infinite sinkhole of the Big Empty, don’t do what you usually do – reach for the phone, like a Pavlovian dog, and ‘text him (her) right now’, or whatever it is you do to scratch the itch. The void anesthetizes your mind so it will tell you convincing stories to justify the urge, the twitch, the tick. Don’t listen. Do the opposite. Stop. Turn around, slowly, and face it. Face the emptiness. The terrifying void. The nothingness that you keep running away from. Face it calmly, openly, lovingly. Then – miracle. The urge subsides and fades. The warm glow fills you. The anxiety lifts. Your soul takes a deep breath. You did it. When you face emptiness, the strangest thing happens. You don’t become empty, you don’t disappear and the billowing clouds of darkness do not consume you. Instead it’s as if you go through, you come out on the other side stronger and full of light. You go through the veil and you see that the terrifying void is again just an illusion. Ram, Ram. You win this round.
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Ciara Sherlock read this poem that she wrote during the ritual we did at the retreat. The last line sounds like a mantra. Nomads of consciousness – enjoy.
You are here, now,
Nothing to achieve, nowhere to go,
The tie is perfect,
We’re here to hold
Look around,
At the miracle we’ve created,
Breathe in, feel alive,
Celebrate it
With strangers in a sacred space,
Being brave, being true,
Surrender to the mystery,
Allow you to be you
You have stepped up,
Now step within,
Open up to yourself,
Let expansion begin
This moment has been unfolding forever,
There’s nothing else to prepare,
Dive deep into experience,
Delve deep if you dare
These medicines are teachers,
There’s no need for tension,
Absorb what you can,
Pay close attention
Pain, joy, fear, bliss,
Is some of what you may see
Embrace all, be curious,
Let go, let in, let be.
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I have learnt so much at and still continue to learn from the retreat. This was one of the poems and quotes that the guides have put on the wall in the hall. Hafiz is a poet from Persia from ages ago and he describes the spiritual peak experience precisely. This is exactly how it felt after the trip… Enjoy!
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I am going through stressful time at work (restructure!) and as I noticed anxiety return, I revived my daily spiritual practice. I found this meditation on Loner Wolf, the shamanic healer web site that I follow. I found it to be very powerful. Surrender. Observe. Allow. Release.
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Ram Dass has been my guru for the past couple of years. I love this quote of his. I finally understand that when someone yells at me or is angry with me, it’s their self hatred, their pain with themselves and the world that they are projecting out and if I react to that, I get caught in their predicament (karma), I am the same wounded person not loving myself enough projecting my lack of self-love on others.
The ‘prescription’ is wonderful – if someone gets to you, it’s your problem, or rather indication that you need to work more on your curriculum, work on yourself. The goal is to become empty, clear like a mirror so that you reflect back whatever is projected onto you. Beautiful, right? More here:
https://www.ramdass.org/a-heavy-curriculum/
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One of my best friends has recently lost her father. When she told me, I burst into tears – so strong was her pain and my grief. I shared with her the dragonfly story that I heard as a German song in the psilocybin retreat and which I understand is also attributed to an American pastor Walter D Cavert. Death is the ultimate sadhana, exercise – how to stay conscious in its presence, how to see meaning and not lose faith, how to live well and die well. If you are going through loss, there is not much I can say – maybe below, this and that I am sorry for your loss and I love you.
The Dragonfly Story
By Walter Dudley Cavert
“In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water. They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him.
Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. In vain he tried to keep his promise. Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below. Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number.
The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation which we call death is no proof that they cease to exist.”
Source: here.
My book on love addiction is now on Amazon, read for free with Kindle Unlimited or get it here.
This article by Melissa Broder and her book ‘Pisces’ were the latest eureka moment in my understanding of love addiction. The dots connected, the pieces clicked – could it be it? Am I healed?
I have meticulously mind mapped Broder’s key concepts and overlaid my own love addiction drivers to grasp the insight (this is what I do for fun) which led to the post below – the longest post ever. If you suffer from unrequited love, love crushes or love addiction, I hope it helps you get a new perspective on why you do it and maybe start to heal. Strap in, this is going to be a bumpy ride…
Nomad of the Universe 