Letters to myself. On emptiness.

When you feel the familiar chill of the void opening within you, the deafening vibration of the growing vacuum, the infinite sinkhole of the Big Empty, don’t do what you usually do – reach for the phone, like a Pavlovian dog, and ‘text him (her) right now’, or whatever it is you do to scratch the itch. The void anesthetizes your mind so it will tell you convincing stories to justify the urge, the twitch, the tick. Don’t listen. Do the opposite. Stop. Turn around, slowly, and face it. Face the emptiness. The terrifying void. The nothingness that you keep running away from. Face it calmly, openly, lovingly. Then – miracle. The urge subsides and fades. The warm glow fills you. The anxiety lifts. Your soul takes a deep breath. You did it. When you face emptiness, the strangest thing happens. You don’t become empty, you don’t disappear and the billowing clouds of darkness do not consume you. Instead it’s as if you go through, you come out on the other side stronger and full of light. You go through the veil and you see that the terrifying void is again just an illusion. Ram, Ram. You win this round. 

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Let Go, Let In, Let Be

Ciara Sherlock read this poem that she wrote during the ritual we did at the retreat. The last line sounds like a mantra. Nomads of consciousness – enjoy.

You are here, now,

Nothing to achieve, nowhere to go,

The tie is perfect,

We’re here to hold

Look around,

At the miracle we’ve created,

Breathe in, feel alive,

Celebrate it

With strangers in a sacred space,

Being brave, being true,

Surrender to the mystery,

Allow you to be you

You have stepped up,

Now step within,

Open up to yourself,

Let expansion begin

This moment has been unfolding forever,

There’s nothing else to prepare,

Dive deep into experience,

Delve deep if you dare

These medicines are teachers,

There’s no need for tension,

Absorb what you can,

Pay close attention

Pain, joy, fear, bliss,

Is some of what you may see

Embrace all, be curious,

Let go, let in, let be.

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Among Strong Men – a poem by Hafiz

I have learnt so much at and still continue to learn from the retreat. This was one of the poems and quotes that the guides have put on the wall in the hall. Hafiz is a poet from Persia from ages ago and he describes the spiritual peak experience precisely. This is exactly how it felt after the trip… Enjoy!

 

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SOAR meditation from Loner Wolf to relieve pain and suffering

I am going through stressful time at work (restructure!) and as I noticed anxiety return, I revived my daily spiritual practice. I found this meditation on Loner Wolf, the shamanic healer web site that I follow. I found it to be very powerful. Surrender. Observe. Allow. Release.

 

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How to deal with people who unleash the anger or rage in you

Ram Dass has been my guru for the past couple of years. I love this quote of his. I finally understand that when someone yells at me or is angry with me, it’s their self hatred, their pain with themselves and the world that they are projecting out and if I react to that, I get caught in their predicament (karma), I am the same wounded person not loving myself enough projecting my lack of self-love on others.

The ‘prescription’ is wonderful – if someone gets to you, it’s your problem, or rather indication that you need to work more on your curriculum, work on yourself. The goal is to become empty, clear like a mirror so that you reflect back whatever is projected onto you. Beautiful, right? More here:

https://www.ramdass.org/a-heavy-curriculum/

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The dragonfly story #grieving #loss

One of my best friends has recently lost her father. When she told me, I burst into tears – so strong was her pain and my grief. I shared with her the dragonfly story that I heard as a German song in the psilocybin retreat and which I understand is also attributed to an American pastor Walter D Cavert. Death is the ultimate sadhana, exercise – how to stay conscious in its presence, how to see meaning and not lose faith, how to live well and die well. If you are going through loss, there is not much I can say – maybe below, this and that I am sorry for your loss and I love you.

The Dragonfly Story

By Walter Dudley Cavert

“In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water.  They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him.

Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings.  In vain he tried to keep his promise.  Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below.  Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number.

The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation which we call death is no proof that they cease to exist.”

Source: here.

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Enlightened exits #death #zen

I found this page when I wanted to read about the last words of enlightened people. Fake or real (I did not verify the source), these stories are very inspiring. Especially the one I am sharing below. What a way to go! What an attitude to life! Have a look at other stories also, some real gems there. Continue reading

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