The Emptiness Survival Kit is finally here. Happy positive disintegration!

How is your June going, fellow nomads?

I am dealing with the opposite of empty. We have received a call and are hosting a Ukrainian refugee family. That required quite a bit of prep and paperwork. Suddenly there are 3 more folks living in our house… Unexpectedly, after 3 years of no travel, I am heading back to Kazakhstan where the whole family is reuniting for my grandma’s birthday. A 13 hour flight with a hyperactive 10 year old, what can go wrong… I’ve submitted notice at work, it’s been a long time coming… I’ve successfully completed a 30 day “no drama” challenge… I am heading to my first walking holiday second half of June…

I’ve crammed it all in, because I have “4 months left to live” on the “year to live” challenge. So I am living my life accordingly. It has been hectic and non-stop but also fun. I’ve watched and rewatched Heartstopper and ever since been feeling inspired to create by it. So here is another milestone – I promised before to pull all emptiness related posts from past year into one Emptiness Survival Kit and never got to doing it. Until now. Here it is – the Emptiness Survival Kit.

This is the culmination of everything I’ve learned in the last couple of years, summed in 42 essential quotes, tips and practises (plus bonus blog posts that I wrote since then) that helped me and hopefully will help you get through the emptiness practice. Not that it’s ever complete… 

Happy positive disintegration. Light and Love. 


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Nomad of the Universe

I don’t know what it means 
That I, it exists before the thought,
Before the breath,
3D spliced between zeptoseconds,
Between pulsating fractal heartbeats.
As someone who has felt spacetime
(has been spacetime?),
Time does not exist.
Mushroom tears.
Somehow I remember to breathe.
And when I am back into I
And here, I bring no answers,
The usual.
Love, beauty, joy, happiness -
Amplify that.
Dance the dance.
Be anyone, or what you are.
Obsess about anything, or anyone.
It does not really matter.
Don’t ask questions,
The questions themselves have no meaning.
The answer is before the question.
All of your problems disappear
With space, time into the zeptosecond
Before the Universe takes its breath.
On the edge of the precipice to nowhere
Where the only reality -
Complete absence of it.
Sad, happy, it is what is.
Go live this truth the best you can.
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There is nothing to do…

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Heartstopper indeed

I am currently obsessed with Heartstopper, a Netflix show filmed in the UK with a terrific and diverse cast of talented British teenage actors. It is a beautiful love story, it is comforting, it is sleek, it is socially important and urgent.

This is the first time ever that I’ve rewatched a show immediately several times in a row. Me missing out on partying/ kissing teenage stage aside, Nick Nelson’s healthy masculinity is so refreshing. He is a popular boy who is yet secure in his attachment style, self-aware, not afraid to be vulnerable, has an open trusting relationship with his mother and he commits. Do men like this exist? He is after all written by a woman, a bit like Jane Austen’s impossible men characters.

There will be no thoughtful or meaningful post today as I watch and rewatch clips from the show 😊 Enjoy your weekend!

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What would you do if you had 24 hours left to live?

Ask friends and family too. You will learn something new. A friend said she’d get on the first flight to Hawaii. Another friend would finally try psychedelics. My son would fly to Japan. I’d hug everyone I love, eat something delicious, look at something beautiful, listen to beautiful music, read and meditate. Oh, I’d also take shrooms 😊

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Resilience in Buddhism, a different perspective to find happiness, joy and peace #burnout #unemployment #anxiety

I cover this blog and how it came about, burnout, mental health, shamanism, therapy, mini retirement, unemployment, anxiety, peace, joy, suffering, self-discovery and Buddhism

When you find yourself in a predicament, see it from a different point of view. “Happiness is sorrow, sorrow is happiness. There is happiness in difficulty, difficulty in happiness”.

If it’s so bad it’s impossible, know it too shall pass, everything is impermanent. Change is your best hope.

Buddhism teaches to be present with what is, even if, especially if it’s suffering. Don’t try to escape it – face it, sit with it. This is your path. “When we are in difficulty or distress, there we have enlightenment”.

Being a perfectionist or having an ambition, a plan is a tough way to live. “We make plans, God laughs”. Letting go and hearing your way (dharma) is easier. Go for an easy option, align with your heart/ intuition.

When you find yourself in a happier place, appreciate how many people are suffering (all of us), remember to give back, help others (empathy). Enjoy every bit of it but don’t get attached to it.

Happiness is unattainable because change is the only constant. It helps guide the way. Ultimately go beyond happiness, go beyond joy, find meaning, true understanding. Who are you? What is all this? Why are you here?

Then peace, calmness become more important than happiness or joy. If you find true understanding and practice calmness in everyday life, you will see challenges and difficulties differently, as a “passing show”. This is resilience.

And if I were to summarise this into 3 tips:

1. The game is called Levels and Lenses. Shift perspectives until you find peace. Take a step back and see blue sky around the grey clouds (Ram Dass). Keep reframing, shifting perspectives until you find joy amidst suffering.

2. Practice complete surrender (radical acceptance). Give up everything. You are not in control and actually giving it up is very liberating. Trust the process = cultivate faith.

3. Self centeredness = suffering. Step outside of you, think of others, help others. Look up Buddha stone story (he only escaped suffering when he stopped focusing on his own and helped a suffering person next to him instead).

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Overcoming challenges and growing through struggles – I will be live on May 11 #burnout #mentalhealth

I am going to talk about resilience and some of the challenges I had to deal with/ overcome and how I did it at 12.30 BST on May 11th. I will talk about my corporate burnout and mini retirement (1 planned year of being out of work, then 1 unplanned pandemic year on top of that), how I healed my #mentalhealth, dealt with anxiety during that time and growth that it all led to. I will talk about Buddhism and spirituality. If interested, register for free here.

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In the beginning, fear and excitement feel the same

Read that again.

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To get out of your anger #ThichNhatHanh

via WeCroak app
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Loving awareness – what does it feel like?

What does loving awareness feel like? I had no idea before. It was just a concept. Like one of my spiritual friends says, all you need to do is meditate and answers will come (or rather questions will dissolve but he left this one out).

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