Letters to myself. On emptiness.

When you feel the familiar chill of the void opening within you, the deafening vibration of the growing vacuum, the infinite sinkhole of the Big Empty, don’t do what you usually do – reach for the phone, like a Pavlovian dog, and ‘text him (her) right now’, or whatever it is you do to scratch the itch. The void anesthetizes your mind so it will tell you convincing stories to justify the urge, the twitch, the tick. Don’t listen. Do the opposite. Stop. Turn around, slowly, and face it. Face the emptiness. The terrifying void. The nothingness that you keep running away from. Face it calmly, openly, lovingly. Then – miracle. The urge subsides and fades. The warm glow fills you. The anxiety lifts. Your soul takes a deep breath. You did it. When you face emptiness, the strangest thing happens. You don’t become empty, you don’t disappear and the billowing clouds of darkness do not consume you. Instead it’s as if you go through, you come out on the other side stronger and full of light. You go through the veil and you see that the terrifying void is again just an illusion. Ram, Ram. You win this round. 

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About lolkin

Nomad of the Universe, sailing through the unknown, learning to be happy and give happiness back
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