I did an interview with my friend Anastasia who is a coach specialising in helping Highly Sensitive People (HSP) succeed at work. I hope some of the tips I am sharing may help provide a new perspective to introverted and/or highly sensitive people and so help them succeed. There were issues with the technology so I recommend you listen to the audio only unless you have steel nerves, unlike myself, and the lag between audio and video does not bother you 🙂
Happiness comes from knowing oneself well or at least better. Introspection is hard, takes work and can one ever be really sure that they’ve got an objective view? This year I spent a lot of time thinking about and understanding my values, strengths, areas of development. The benefit of knowing your values is that they can guide your decision making. Values may change – you may have different values at different stages of life.
If you are figuring out your values or want to have a go at it, Escape the City Online career change course (free with code ESCAPE at the moment) has the following cool exercise:Â Continue reading
I was chanting this mantra with my little one helping him relax and go to sleep when I realised I have no idea what it means. I looked it up and was blown away. Whole doctrine of Buddhism neatly wrapped into one sentence – a jewel in a lotus. Dalai Lama explains this better than me…
I’ve been keeping an eye on these guys. I just love the idea of positive news – there is too much negativity around and good news do not get enough attention. I was too late for their crowdfunding campaign but now got subscribed to their magazine and got the back issues too. You can also get subscribed to their free newsletter if you’d rather not pay. For more info and to subscribe, go here.
Happiness is not some absolute super positive state that once achieved rids you of all your problems. Nirvana, enlightenment is a result of a path ridden with obstacles, full of hard truths about yourself and lots and lots of hard work. What you think you deserve, what you believe is important and how hard you will work for it is what defines your life and your happiness. Easier said…
Passion. Life purpose. Meaning. The big goal. Life calling. As I was reading on the subject over the years, I struggled to summarise what I learnt in one neat action plan. Mark Manson did it and did it really well. So I now lean on his ideas and insight on the subject.
I already posted one of his best posts on finding passion here. Mark says that passion is not something we receive, it’s not some sort of enlightenment that we wait for, we work towards it and find it through action. In his other post on the subject Screw finding your passion, Mark goes further and says that actually we already found our passion and are living it daily, we are just ignoring it – because of how we think about it.
The problem with how we think is revealed by Dan Gilbert in the Ted talk below. Biased thinking blinding us to what we know and have already, leading us to give up on what is important to us before we even try. I’ve got bad news, folks – if like me you are ‘looking for passion’, you may not be really looking and just avoiding any action. In which case the best and most urgent advice is to just do it – but we’ve known it all along, didn’t we? Baby steps – I refer you to the quote in the beginning of this post.
This short video is a great summary of a 6 week positive psychology course I am taking on Coursera currently. It’s fascinating how Fredrickson redefines what love is – see below. Giving and receiving love is vital for our well being and the good news is that it’s easier to find than we thought!
This year I felt like I wanted to get a good picture of my strengths, finally, so I invested in several studies – I did one through work (Strengthscope), I did Via Strengths (free but you pay for detailed report) and I did Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Gallup (you need to buy a book which gives you a code). They replicate so you can do just one if interested. And do please share in the comments if you found another survey/ tool and it worked for you!
The findings were not 100% straightforward but made me rethink some things and how I approach and select what I do in life and at work. My top 5 strengths:
1. Empathy, kindness, compassion
2. Creativity, ideation
3. Appreciation of beauty & excellence, self improvement
4. Strategic mindset
5. Developing others, connectedness, relator
We track steps and calories, why not track happiness? In the Positive Psychology course (on Coursera), Barbara Fredrickson shares a tool that she developed to do just that. You can take Positivity Ratio Assessment here. Do daily measurements and track your scores over a week or more. The expected outcome is that it will help you make adjustments in your day to day life and start prioritising positive experiences on your to do list to boost your overall well being and happiness:
Just like tracking calories or cash flows can heighten your awareness and in time help you meet your fitness or financial goals, tracking your positivity ratio can help you raise your ratio and build your best future.
If you find seaweed in your nether regions, you must be on a holiday 🙂 I am in my bucket list destination – Fuerteventura in Spain. Several days to pause, breathe, clear headspace, think about important things. In between being a parent and a wife.
And Barbara Fredrickson's advice comes in handy as I am struggling to find me time – being more positive, happier day 2 day is not about changing your personality, it's as simple as adding or prioritising positive experiences on your to do list. We all get so grown up, so tied up in what we must do for others that we forget what we need to do for ourselves.
So while on holiday, I walk along the beach in the morning. I listen to the ocean. I watch the sunrise. I do not time myself and I do not have milestones or a checklist. I let myself flow with the ocean. I am also learning that as soon as I am back, I need to continue to prioritise these little but important moments, the me time.
Happy weekend, fellow nomads! 
I am taking a Positive Psychology course. I wanted to share one of the exercises. First, in the course they define 10 positive emotions as below (the last line reads LOVE). They also state that positive emotions broaden our perception (rather than narrow it like negative emotions do), open us to more perspectives and make us more inclusive and creative. The exercise is that you need to choose one of these emotions and build a visual Positivity Portfolio around it (remember visualisation boards?). You can then use your Positivity Portfolio when things are not going well or negative emotions take over and bring yourself back into peace. I chose JOY and if I ever figure out how to put the board together, I will share it here. Share your board if/ when you have one!
Mark Manson is awesome, you guys. I loved his book and I LOVED his recent post on finding life passion. He has a talent to dissect some of the biggest life questions, bring out the top insight and deliver it in a simple but cool way (with some swearing thrown in :)). He is a modern philosopher, no less.
I read quite a bit on life purpose, meaning, finding life passion. I loved Mark’s post because it’s a spot on summary of everything there is on the subject and a great guide to actually doing it, finding your life passion. Key takeaways are below – I prescribe to myself to print out this post and stick it on my inspiration board, then revisit it daily and actually commit to making this happen.
When people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oeIVAQRr4Y4
It was always about the wolf. I was interested in shamanism for a while, occasionally read about it but never actually considered doing it. When I read about Lissa Rankin’s experience with a shamanic ritual in her book The Anatomy of a Calling, I was curious so I searched for shamans in the UK and was surprised to find a couple. It seemed so far fetched, I put it off again.
Recently I’ve been feeling drained of energy, running empty on joy – have I adulted too fast? Is this what life is for a married full time working parent? I lost my creative energy and I did not feel alive anymore. I did not thrive. I felt I needed help. I needed to heal. So I emailed a shaman. Continue reading
Are you working to get better at conflict management, or even better, prevention? Does your blood boil and you lose it, and you wish you could be mindful in that moment where your mind just spirals into the familiar unconscious pattern of rage and you stop being mindful? Here is a new perspective. Ajahn Brahm talks about some conflict resolving techniques he uses as a Buddhist. Bear with the speed of his talk, it is intentionally slow!
Nomad of the Universe 