Random Acts of Kindness

Inspired by Timber Hawkeye’s Buddhist Boot Camp, I’ve been doing more RAKs (random acts of kindness) lately. Small things, like letting someone get on the train before you, helping ladies with prams, giving up a seat for an elderly passenger.

At work, I went above and beyond helping younger members of my team grow while dealing with the big changes in the company. At home, I am working on being kinder to my family —Timber gives fantastic advice on this — treat every person you meet as if they are Buddha. Or as if they are to die today. Thinking this way reframes your perspective. 

As I approach 40s, I deal with more death around me. Lovely elderly neighbour died a couple of weeks ago. Several friends or people I know have now either successfully overcome or succumbed to cancer. RAKs are even more important when dealing with someone in a serious life situation such as cancer. I’ve had to choose a gift for a friend who survived breast cancer recently. I gave her a pot of little lively purple violets which she loved. So glad she is much better now!

Pay it forward, nomads. Be kind.

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The biggest secret to happiness is to stay present, live in the now

Recently I have come to realise that the biggest source of happiness is how we treat the present and whether we live in the now. I’ve seen Matt Killingsworth’s talk and it made me revisit what I read in Eckhart Tolle’s New Earth about the present.

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The School of Life is now on Youtube and they are tackling some serious issues

Yay, the School of Life and the amazing Alain de Botton are now on Youtube! Among the first uploaded videos my favourites are Why we go off sex and How to save love with pessimism. Philosophy gone mainstream? Enjoy!

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“Stumbling on Happiness” by Dan Gilbert

I am reading this new book on happiness and absolutely loving it. It’s written in a way that makes you giggle through it, from the first page, yet it makes a serious and big point. It talks about happiness, our perception of it, how our brains work etc.

A book on how to be happy in everyday life? I will share my impression and key take aways once I am done. You can also watch Dan Gilbert’s TED talk above.

Keep busy, stay happy!

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Art therapy — photographic art of Steve McCurry

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I believe into the therapeutic power of art. Beautiful art can make one happy. I’ve recently discovered Steve McCurry at Beethles + Huxley gallery. You can view his works online here. My favourite is this one, called SHAOLIN MONKS TRAINING, ZHENGZHOU, CHINA, 2004.

 

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This video will change how you think about stress… and maybe even save your life

In studying the science of happiness, it’s interesting how sometimes you get a new perspective on the same thing or several different perspectives come into one and reveal something new. I’ve recently blogged on how thinking about stress symptoms as signs of courage, of readiness to tackle a challenge can help change one’s perspective on stress. I also blogged about ways to overcome stress in conflict situations, such as ‘pay forward’ by committing a random act of kindness. Then I’ve seen this video (above) today, which brought all of these perspectives together, and in addition, revealed a new outlook on oxytocin and its role in stress management. Change perspective. Pay forward. Connect. If you are stressed or ever were stressed, this is a must see.

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Inspiration for happy life — 30 things I’ve learned by Nick Crocker

Sometimes it’s useful to read posts like this one. Nothing in it is new, but it’s a list of principles of someone who lives a happy life (or strives to) and hence it’s helpful. Any checklist for happy life, any inspiration or new angle on old knowledge is always useful. See if you can find anything that resonates with you. My top 5 are below: Continue reading

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Happiness in marriage — how we end up marrying the wrong people

Happiness in marriage and relationships is one of the big components of being happy overall. However, there is not much practical and smart literature on the subject. There are no high quality, verified schools or classes where one could learn the basics, and it’s pretty much expected that we figure it out by ourselves, often by repeating same costly mistakes as the people before us.

Enter Alain de Botton who I regard as one of the best living philosophers and his video above.

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Surviving The Negativity Tornado

I had a really stressful week. I had to deal with some deeply unconscious, ego driven people who completely forgot they were mortal. There was no way around it, and I was not intending to let negativity take over me, so I got prepared. Here is a checklist I kept in front of me throughout the meeting. If you have a negative meeting or experience that you can not avoid, perhaps these will help you.

  • Stay aware
  • Do not resist, flow
  • Remember – this, too, shall pass
  • Give generously what you want to receive
  • Random act of kindness

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Should I Or Shouldn’t I?

I found this one on Quora. I did not fact check it but it resonated. If you wonder, “Should I or should not I?” instead think “What will I regret more — doing it or not doing it?”

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Jim Carrey’s Commencement Address: Maharishi University

This speech has blown me away. The unexpected side to the speaker, its depth, the very Tolle’sque terminology he uses and the profoundness of advice given. The jokes too of course, eg ‘Monsanto seed’ or ‘I can not be contained because I am the container’.

I’ve been left so touched after watching it that I might need to watch it again. Two pieces of advice particularly stood out for me:

1) risk being seen in all of your glory

2) you will have 2 choices in life: love or fear. Don’t let your fear turn you against your playful heart.

What an amazing speech from an amazing man. Must see.

 

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Need More Than 24 Hours A Day? Think Again

In my recent post about stress I have discovered that apparently stress has same physical symptoms as courage (this is not scientific but seems plausible enough), so in some cases it may make sense to reframe feeling stressed as being brave. I’ve already used this trick a couple of times actually, during those fight or flight situations, and it works!

Interestingly, same week I ran into another post with a different albeit also interesting angle on stress. Continue reading

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Kpop A Day Keeps A Therapist Away

My song of the week/ weekend/ spring! Kpop rules and G-Dragon is the best. This video energises and/or puts a smile on a face 🙂  I want his hair!!

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GIFs As Art — Saatchi Gallery’s Motion Photography Prize

I’ve been silent for a while – I was in Seoul, at a friend’s wedding. It was an amazing, once in a lifetime, thank-you-Universe experience. I met some cool people and had lots of fun. I will post about it later, with photos.

Today I wanted to highlight this post in Wired, because there are 2 things that equally excite and fascinate me – art and gif’s. Not sure about you, but I have been communicating a lot in gif’s lately (there is some serious research on the impact of gif’s on our communication which you can google), and art prize and exhibition dedicated to gif’s just sounds like an amazing idea to me.  Continue reading

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How To Overcome The Temptations

I have been working on self development, or self improvement, however you call it, for now almost 15 years, perhaps even more. Over the years I have uncovered a variety of truths – underlying motivations behind my actions, implications of the big choices I made in life, influences of various people on my personality and decisions, etc.

At different points in my life I’ve been working on different things – overcoming fears, procrastination and indecisiveness, taking risks, embracing change, being open to new, willpower, living in the now rather than past – the list goes on. Last couple of years I focused on several things, among them overcoming the temptations.

Temptations come in different shapes and forms. They may be things, objects. They may be people. They may be feelings. Although it seems that WikiHow and Yahoo Answers covered most of them in terms of the action plan 🙂  (eg check this step-by-step WikiHow guide on overcoming lust, actually some very good tips, going to army must be my fave!). In my case, temptations are unnecessarily distracting and do not allow me to fully focus my life energy on things, projects and people that are important and that I want to focus on. They keep my mind busy with the wrong thoughts and in turn, its incessant buzz is sapping energy from my present.

After a period of meditating, reflection and talking to my close and very life-wise friends (Lia, I owe you big!), I left myself no choice and through a powerful, yet simple, technique of self analysis (where you constantly ask ‘why?’ until you arrive at the answer) arrived at 4 causes of temptations in my case. This was a big breakthrough for me, and it took 10 years to come to this. I list them below, in case they help you dig dipper and uncover your motivations and/or overcome your temptations which prevent you from realising your full potential.

1. I create DRAMA to feel alive, instead of living in the present – live in the now

2. I always want MORE, I am not happy with what I’ve got – ditto, meditation helps

3. I am ADDICTED to pain-pleasure cycle (as defined by E.Tolle) – stop it

4. I DISTRACT myself from important projects, I procrastinate – face your fears

Once you know the causes, you solved the problem half way. It will be easier to be aware, present whenever temptations re-emerge and hence easier to overcome them. And you will gain a new perspective in life which will inevitably contribute to your personal growth. All the best, my fellow nomads. Do not give in 😉

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