Megan Feldman on forgiveness in an unforgiving world #TEDtalks #happiness

Another fascinating talk from the Science of Happiness programme on edX.

Megan Feldman looks at the act of not forgiving, of holding to one’s grudges as an act of committing violence, to oneself or the world. What impact does non forgiveness have? Our health, our relationship, peace around us and on this planet. Wars are still there because we do not forgive enough.

So how about becoming compassionate instead. How about taking small steps to forgiveness by becoming aware of those moments when we decide to not let go, to resist, and instead change perspective, expand our outlook and to surrender to what is. Easier said than done, and almost unimaginable in a situation like one Megan described, I understand.

Ultimately it’s our choice. Do we forgive or do we carry on harming ourselves and everyone around us by not letting go? Megan calls on us to forgive, for our sake and the world’s.

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Fred Luskin on forgiveness – wanting ‘yes’ and getting ‘no’ #happiness

I’ve stepped up my efforts in completing the Science of Happiness course on edX. I am glad that the course is getting more interesting as it progresses and that it manages to provide both new insights into happiness and a solid academic background on the subject. As a full time working parent, I struggled to find time to study (despite getting up at 5am), I finally managed to do it – edX have a mobile app, so I listen to videos during commute and with a bit of preparation and discovery of the Speech option on my iPhone, I email myself and have papers read by an electronic Apple robot voice while I walk. It works!

This week I discovered 2 very powerful videos, as part of the course. They are both on forgiveness and however cliche this subject may have become these days, forgiveness is still a powerful happiness tool. People who don’t forgive live in constant stress, agony even, inflicting damage on their health, putting blinders on their eyes and missing out on life. By not forgiving, we hurt ourselves first and foremost.

After a hard work week, why not start the weekend by letting go and forgiving others and/or ourselves as much as we can. In his eye opening talk, Fred Luskin defines forgiveness as the ability to make peace with ‘no’. This ties in nicely with the ‘love crush’ theme we’ve been exploring on this blog. Ready to forgive? Here you go.

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Emilie Wapnick: why some of us don’t have one true calling #happiness

I’ve just discovered that my search for one passion, one big goal, one purpose my whole life was futile and unnecessary. I am not lost, I am just different. Suddenly all limits are removed and everything is possible. This is a life changing talk.

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To overcome love obsession (addiction), start with your fears #happiness

I have made a big breakthrough in the study of my love addiction. This was a result of extensive and painful self analysis that took me years. If it’s your first time on my blog, do not be alarmed, I do not have psychopathic tendencies, I am just a person prone to falling in unrequited love the reasons for which puzzled me greatly for at least a decade. You can find my previous reflections on the subject here. I think I finally got somewhere in terms of an answer and a cure.

Continue reading

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What is making you happy?

There are lots of things that make me happy at the moment.

Fall. I used to take it rather unwell – fall used to signify the end of summer, chills to the bone, greyness and death. These days ‘September is a new January’. Fall breathes of new beginnings and I intend to focus on its beauty by heading to the nature and observing the change in seasons. A glass of 12-year Jimenez oloroso sherry in hand – my idea of welcoming fall 🙂

Letting go – I finally burned bridges with the people who are still dear to me but whose connection I had to let go of to move on.  Continue reading

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Coolest, awesomest thing I’ve watched this month #happiness

Justin Bieber’s song (do not judge me), the cool 2-wheel thingys, fantastic choreography and some cool dancers – a video worth mentioning on this blog. Makes me happy looking at the result!

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Biggest happiness lifehack – cure your fears

I am reading this awesome book, Fear Cure by Lissa Rankin. If you want to work on overcoming your fears, it’s a perfect guide on how to do it. Can’t believe I’ve been reading her posts on Positively Positive and never checked out her book!

This quote in particular stood out:

In order to avoid change and its accompanying loss, we are willing to tolerate stagnation, to let our souls die slow deaths in order to avoid uncertainty and loss. Anything that requires risk becomes unacceptable.

Continue reading

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Embracing uncertainty #happiness

I finally embraced uncertainty. I used to be a control freak losing temper if things were not going my way. Still am, long road ahead but I see first promising signs of progress.

I stopped trying to predict (obsessively think about) how things would go. I stopped over raising or over lowering my expectations in advance. I am not asking gazillion clarifying questions from poor souls who happen to come to the same event as me. I am not having jitters ahead of important events. I breathed out. I let go. It will all be as it will be. And it’s the best really.

Don’t overthink. Don’t obsess. Don’t create scenarios. Don’t predict. Don’t expect. Do not fret. Do not have a plan. Embrace uncertainty. Breathe. Smile.

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Surrender… to progress #happiness

I surrender. I am not moving from where I live (blossom where planted, right). I am not going to find yet another job that will no doubt be so much better, and will rather make the one I already have work. I am no better than any person and I am starting to reluctantly accept that my purpose in life is perhaps to just grow spiritually, be a good person, be kind, strive for enlightenment, bring up a good man. I am not good at saving money. I may never be rich. I may never do anything extraordinary.

That’s ok. As illogical as it sounds, trying to achieve all of these things made me stall, there was no progress. Having finally acknowledged that this approach of striving for more (but doing nothing, out of fear) does not work is progress already.

Most importantly i surrender to my feelings and to my mistakes – reframe, reframe – brave but naive acts. That’s me and so what. I loved and I lived. I have no guilt, no regret, no shame. I am at peace. Whatever comes my way, be it. Oblivion is as good as burning embarrassment of another encounter.

I forgive myself for everything. I start anew. Everything is possible.

This is actually very liberating.

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Love and marriage – best posts and talks which will radically change your perspective

You might have noticed that most of my recent posts were on the subject of relationships and love. It’s not random, I blog about things that interest me or that I am working on. In 2 weeks time, the Happiness Science course that I am taking restarts, and my blog posts will probably take on a more academic/ philosophical angle. I might also blog more about parenting and happiness, and overcoming fear. All very interesting subjects that are on my radar currently.

Below is the selection of top posts and talks that I’ve seen in the last couple of years on love and marriage. I promise, at least one of them will radically change your perspective. Have a nice weekend, long one if in the UK!  Continue reading

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25 Good Relationship Guides Summed Up In One Infographic

Source

IMG_6060

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What can we do to be happier?

Here

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Love crushes, obsessions, poetry… How to start reframing a love crush (Part 2)

In my recent intense, somewhat all over the place post Love crushes, obsessions, poetry… Love addiction and what pain-body has to do with it (Part 1) I promised Part 2. Here we go. Continue reading

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Taking random acts of kindness to the next level, and with a wedding

This story is amazing, how-have-I-not-thought-of-this great and truly inspirational. I feel definitely inspired to do something similar for my 10th wedding anniversary this year. Perhaps, 10 random acts of kindness in one day?

Newlyweds Skip Traditional Banquet to Feed Thousands of Refugees

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Good morning!

I am going through another personal transformation stage. My ‘rage against the dying of the light’ has manifested itself lately in enrolling myself into a day of meditation at the London Buddhist Centre and in getting tickets to Dalai Lama’s talk when he visits London in September (yay!). I hope to quiet my mind which has been going 100mph lately, restore the balance and inner peace…

I am leaving you with 3 things: Continue reading

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