Reintroducing Wisdom In Everyday Life

Alain de Botton is a genius. My favourite living philosopher. He helped me change my thinking about so many things. I follow him on Twitter and his School of Life on Facebook. I read several of his books.

This recent talk in Korea is informative and inspiring, as always. It made me think about the Happiness App for smartphones (reminding you to do 1 of 5 things a day to make you happy or something like this fantastic idea), and in general, his idea of meaning-of-life based businesses is fascinating.

It made me re-evaluate how I view envy, what a brilliant idea to view it as a compass, guide towards ambition, rather than something bad that needs to be suppressed. Sharing this talk with you, because it’s an absolute must see. Happy watching! 🙂

 

 

 

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How Creating A Wolf (Or Any Other Art) Can Make You Happy

As I decided to finally start doing something about my passions (see my previous post), I have defined 3 areas that I am going to ‘try anything’ in. 20 seconds of ‘insane courage’ is all I need 🙂

One is writing, and I am writing this blog, I am also writing a sci fi film script based on my novel, I am going to try and make money from writing by freelancing on oDesk, Elance and FlexJobs (yep, you can hire me there now 🙂 ). Second passion is making a difference (MAD 🙂 )  or impact. I am thinking about how I pursue that, definitely combining it with my passion for writing. Third one is art. I am not just a writer 🙂  I have a lot of ideas that until now I have found a gazillion excuses not to try and realise. I have many creative friends who I can co-create art with. There are a couple of projects which I will focus my time and energy on in the coming month or two (instead of looking for traditional employment, mad). I’ll keep you posted.

There is a direct link between these 3 and happiness. Writing is therapeutic. Giving and helping makes us feel super good. Art is creating and creating is healing.

Here is a therapeutic product of my last 20 seconds (ok, it took longer) of ’embarassing bravery’ in the art area – I made a cartoon. Wolf by tsunamiwolf. Well, I created a story and directed it. Whereas my super gifted friends, Aigerim Mussina (drawing) and Alexey Kurapov (video editing) did the rest. I really like how it came out.

Above all, I like that I finished it. I am not good at finishing. But that’s another story. I hope you have some art to create, it will make you very happy.

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Find What You Love And Let It Kill You

I follow a few blogs on positive thinking, happiness, personal development, changing your life, pursuing your passion, etc. Mind you, reading a lot is good but useless if there is no action coming out of it. I am actually thinking of decreasing the amount of info I am taking in, just so it does not stop me from acting on it.

You read and read posts and articles that are echoing each other, yet provide different angles on the same thing – how to be happy. Some things stick with you. Some things later fall into places and suddenly you see the big picture, have an epiphany. And it may be the simplest, most obvious thing of all, yet it’s only when it hits you that you suddenly get it.

Here are a few recent discoveries of mine.

James Rhodes writes brilliantly about his escape from the corporate world, his extreme journey towards his passion and his takeaways from that experience. Passion is the key word in his story. It’s the striking story of the inspiring man. But above all strikes the quote he cites, by Charles Bukowski – find what you love and let it kill you.

Brilliant, isn’t it?

The recipe for happiness is so simple – find your passion and pursue it. Yet, when we discover our passion, we are often too scared to pursue it. We are equally afraid of failure and succeeding. You know the drill – excuses are made up, procrastination is allowed to take over, overthinking overwhelms.

This seemingly slight, yet profound in its effect, rephrasing (re-framing) helps. Instead of ‘find your passion and pursue it’, find what you love and let it kill you. Easy. Extreme. No other way. No more excuses. Go and do it. Now. And keep doing it until you are done.

This piece, from another corporate escapee, with 4 lessons on how to find the right direction in life also stuck with me. And what is the right direction in life but finding and pursuing your passion?

  1. Stop overthinking
  2. Try anything. Do something
  3. Follow your inner voice/ trust your gut
  4. Believe in yourself

I feel like tattooing these on my forehead. They are obvious, right? Yet, I had a bit of an epiphany after reading them. Maybe some planets aligned somewhere, I am not sure. I read it many times before. But it only hit me now. I have decided that I will stop overthinking how I pursue my passion (which is writing) and interests – sustainability, marketing and own business (here is how they are different), and instead will try to make them happen. And ‘try anything’ is a useful re-frame of ‘just do it’. ‘Just do it’ is too uncertain and pushy and scary, whereas ‘try anything’ is gentler and easier to do. Just 20 seconds of ‘insane courage and embarrassing bravery‘ now and then is all that’s required.

I will no doubt fail and then I will try again. And teaching myself to fail repeatedly will not be easy. There is an ego to be silenced and thinking to be reprogrammed. But once you tell yourself that failing is just part of trying to live your passion, then suddenly it’s ok. Because if one try has failed, it’s ok, there is another one and another one, and only 20 insane brave seconds is what’s required. Trying is easy and doable. I just have to remember that whenever I am having a negative thought (it’s impossible, I can not do it, etc.) or overthink (I have no idea where to start, I need more research, etc.), I need to replace this with action – trying – instead. And this is how I will live my passion – I will fearlessly dive in and let it consume me…

Consider this my new manifesto.

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Don’t Argue, Be Happy

Heard an interesting story recently. It went along these lines:

– What is the secret of your success?
– I don’t argue. This frees up time and energy.
– Ok… But surely some arguing sometimes is actually useful?
– Sure.

This to me seemed like one of those light bulb moments. I knew it before but this story summed it up perfectly. I used to love arguments. Prove myself right by all means. Then I read The Power of Now, and the idea that arguments are manifestations of our egos trying to prove themselves right stuck with me.

Long story short, ego’s main motivation is avoidance of death (see Jason Silva’s powerful and eye opening talk on this). It hence is constantly engaged in business of proving its existence, one way to do which is to be right. Hence that feeling you have when you have engaged into argument, it escalated and you want to win it at any price is your ego trying to avoid its mortality. Which is pretty stupid because immortality does not exist.

Stop it!

How much time and energy I spent on arguing! Now whenever someone tries to engage me into argument, I remember the story above and simply say – sure. There are as many opinions as there are people, whatever is true in your universe at the moment may not be true in somebody else’s. So, people who love to argue, relax and go do something truly important.

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Why Do You Write?

I thought about this. We all know that writing is therapeutic. When we write, as in any art form, we tell about our feelings, our world and hence add our personal, very important piece to our general understanding of the reality. Writing makes me happy. At a risk of sounding cliché, I write because I have to. I have all these ideas, stories, characters in my mind and I just need to release them. I welcome readers into parallel universe that is me and I like reading about universes of others’. I love telling stories. I’ve been doing it my whole life. I’ve written poems and stories since I was a kid – I still have somewhere the first book I made at the age of 7. I am a marketer by trade – I sell products, ideas and hopefully make people happy through storytelling. I have only recently realised the true importance of writing in my life. I have committed to myself to make writing a big part of my life. Hence this blog and my sci fi book and a script that I am writing based on it. Why do you write? Let me know…

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Networking, Career Club And A Twesume

So I am looking for a job. Made my first twesume, had fun doing it, check it out:

awesome marketer, 10+ yrs intl mkng experience, 4 a role in sustainability/ NGO/ social/ startup #twesume #hireme

For marketing, I find the recruitment market changed massively in the last 5 years, which is great. I love change. Now it’s all about social media and thought leadership and shaping a job rather than looking for one. You get hired through networking, through who you know and who knows you, rather than recruiters, as before. And networking = social media + events. So I am trying to juggle my presence and thought leadership on Facebook, Twitter and Linkedin, phew! I am in awe of you, digital natives, who not only are constantly up to date across all platforms, but also manage various identities across numerous social media. How do you do this?!!!

…which reminds me that I wanted to register on Push Page.

Social media, digital – I love this stuff. Now events is something else. This is where I still have some work to do. I have been in the Netherlands for 20 days, applied for a number of jobs online, created twesume and thought it was time to go and meet real people. So I went to the event I saw advertised on Linkedin. My first event here. I loved it! It was a bit like Escape The City but for women and with a coaching angle. Leading ladies – Lisa Ring, Marijke Krabbenbos, Dorota Klop-Sowinska – shared some cool tips on how to network, including on Linkedin (Netherlands top the world in terms of penetration, did you know?).

One thing that was said there stuck with me. Apparently expats move to the Netherlands for love, job or studies. These are top 3 reasons. I moved for none of that. I moved for another life. For a parallel universe. How about that. I am a firm believer in parallel universes, and in the theory that the more universes you spin (the more stuff you try and do) at the same time, the more the chance that they will align in the way you want.

So keep spinning those universes and be a creator of your own life. Hugs 🙂

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Stop It!

This is the best, cheapest therapy you will ever get – just watch the video. And then, whenever you start worrying/ obsessing/ thinking what if/ being afraid/ being anxious/ overthinking, just remind yourself of this 2-word advice, smile, and move on to more positive thoughts. Ta-da! As easy as that. I can not stop laughing every time I watch this video. Enjoy!

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Softer. Kinder. Slower (On The Subject Of Purpose)

I have found this post in my bookmarks recently. It’s been written before Christmas, but it’s a timeless treasure, and for me was the perfect summary on the whole purpose/ sense of life subject, together with Peter Bregman’s brilliant post on living with no goals.

I grew up thinking we all have some global goal, something that we are supposed to find, achieve, this burning feeling, inside quest for something. The itch for purpose. And I felt bad that I did not have such goal, purpose and I could not understand how to find one, and this led to a lot of anxiety. Like LOTS.

And then gradually I arrived at what Kris is saying. Your purpose is to be you. To discover what makes you tick, makes you happy and do more of it. ‘To fall deeply in love with precious you’, as she says. Of course, there is also giving joy to others (The Bucket List) but it starts from you in the first place.

As Kris says, ‘You are the light. Your inner purpose is to connect with that light. Everything else will follow in time.’

Did this make you feel warm and fuzzy, happy?

 

 

 

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Something To Meditate To…

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5 Simple Rules For Happiness

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I follow several blogs on happiness. My absolute favourite at the moment is Hunting Happiness Project. My long time favourite must be Escape The City, not directly focused on happiness, yet providing inspiration to those stuck in a rut/ City/ corporate job, which I also was for a while. I also follow Alain de Botton on Twitter who always manages to capture the essence of our modern life dilemmas into 140 characters. Therapeutic and inspirational. Here is a pic I saved from one of these blogs, five simple rules for happiness. Easy, huh? 🙂

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Practice Happiness Like Yoga

I read a lot of stuff (books, articles, blogs, etc) on the so called self development. I started with meaning-of-life material, progressed to self improvement, had a little detour reading the bible, koran and buddhist literature, then onto philosophy, switched to brain/ mind/ NLP, and finally has recently got into reading on happiness. I will have a post on who I follow on the subject currently, in case it’s of help to any of you.

Today let me focus on 2 things which I think are worth reading and having a thought about. 5 Things That Will Make You Happier is a great and short summary on the key ingredients of happiness. In fact, you could decide and become happy right now. Practice happiness like yoga.

For me, these 5 things seem repetitive so I will further boil them down into 3, to make it even easier to digest and apply to a day to day life. No 1. Positive thinking – easier said than done, but possible with merciless thought monitoring and laser cutting all negativity in its tracks. DO NOT let your mind wander off on a negativity road. Every time you catch yourself on a negative thought – replace it with a positive one. More on this in the photo below. No 2. Gratitude. You could either use the exercise suggested or check out my previous post and write down daily or weekly 3 things you are grateful for. Easy peasy. No 3. Give back. It’s simple – giving makes you happy. You don’t need to be rich to give. You could start giving right now. Be it money, or help, or kind word. I support a charity helping sick kids from emerging country. I am also doing #26actsofkindness in memory of the little angels who lost their lives in Newtown. If you need inspiration and want to join in, search on twitter with the above hashtag. If you want your money or something back, you can use kiva or kickstarter, where your money is allocated to a cause of your choice. Why not. Or you can watch Amelie, a perfect cinematic example of what giving is and what it can do to your life. 

I liked No 4 in the original post about strengths, it’s new to me. Will try to use it as an exercise.

What I would like to close with today is this beautifully written post on death by Roger Ebert who apparently has recently died. I am not familiar with his works, all screenwriting blogs I follow however have tremendous respect for him and from reading this short work of his, I can see why. And this is the thought I am going to leave you and myself with today – today practice living like you will die in the next 60 seconds. Now get up and go do that one thing that could change your life. Ta!

Image courtesy of the Hunting Happiness Project that I follow religiously. 

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In pursuit of happiness…

Last year, in the midst of the middle age crisis, I promised myself that 2013 will be all about happiness. This btw sounds like a log line for Jude Apatow’s next movie 🙂  I have spent last 5 years in the high profile, high paced, intense corporate job which made me realise several things once I paused for a maternity leave: a) I hate matrix organisations, b) my life is spent on blackberry, in meaningless meetings and on tasks which make no difference in the broader scheme of things, c) I am unhealthy, stressed, unhappy and I miss writing.

So I quit. And I want to focus on happiness this year, not higher income or promotion or any other artificial goals. I want to be healthy, happy, fulfilled, I want to invest into myself and relationships with people who are close and precious to me.

Two months later, and I can report that I have moved from fast paced, always on London to a picturesque fishing village of Volendam in the Netherlands. I have started my first script based on my sci fi novel. I plan to find a job that makes a difference. And I am starting this blog. So far, so good.

In the last two months I’ve had a crash course on how to become a landlord and move to Europe. I plan to share high level learnings here because it took me a while to get all this info together. I will share my experience of getting to know the Dutch and their way of living. In fact, my next post will be on shopping in the Netherlands. In between, I will share some of the tips and tricks that make me happy.

And with that, let’s go…

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