Nomad of the Universe

I looked for happiness.  
I found that to be happy I must be no one. 
Peace > happiness. 
To be at peace, one desires nothing, 
Shuns all drama, 
Does not get attached, 
Lets go of self and
Acts regardless of outcome. 
Easier said than done. 

I looked for love. 
I found fear of loneliness. 
Love starts with self-love. 
The quest is always inward. 
Love is not what I thought it was. 
It is cultivated, not found. 
When you are at peace, you are in love.
 
I looked for self. 
I found many layers, levels. 
I let go of each and found emptiness. 
No self. I do not exist. 
It was a bummer originally, 
I am getting used to the idea. 
Everyone wants to be light 
But forgets that light lives in the void. 

I looked for purpose. 
I helped. I served. I alleviated suffering. 
I gave away. I did my best at loving.
Did I do enough? Was it my path? 
I discovered there is no purpose. 
The path unfolds without me. 
Process > purpose. 
I am like a wave in the ocean. 
I appear, roll and dissolve. 

I say I want to feel alive. 
Have joy. Fun. To be free. 
I don’t understand the true meaning. 
I guess I want non-emptiness
But in a fun way? 

I am not looking for anything now. 
I probably need to give up more. 
I am excited and confused. 
I float in emptiness 
Filled with karmic flashbacks. 
I embrace whatever is next  
Rolling like a wave into the unknown.