“Listening to Our Ancestors’ Voices”

With practice, we can see that our wounded child is not only us. Our wounded child may represent several generations.

Our mother may have suffered throughout her life. Our father may have suffered. Perhaps our parents weren’t able to look after the wounded child in themselves. So, when we’re embracing the wounded child in us, we’re embracing all the wounded children of our past generations. This practice is not a practice for ourselves alone but for numberless generations of ancestors and descendants.

Our ancestors may not have known how to care for their wounded child within, so they transmitted their wounded child to us. Our practice is to end this cycle. The people around us, our family and friends, may also have a severely wounded child inside. If we’ve managed to help ourselves, we can also help them. When we’ve healed ourselves, our relationships with others become much easier. There’s more peace and more love in us.

Source: How to Listen by Thich Nhat Hahn

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Job search Buddhist style

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How to overcome fear of loneliness

My loneliness was shaped like absence.
I had not fear — but terror — of it,
Sobbing into a pillow every night,
Grasping at people, things and moments
To fill the void.

I felt alone in a large family in a small house,
Watching fireworks from a hospital window,
Holding my newborn son,
And during bathroom panic attacks,
Being crushed by the void.

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A mundane life

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If you were to let go of the pursuit of happiness, what would you do?

The pursuit of happiness for its own sake is a fool’s errand. As a goal it is frivolous and unrealistic—frivolous because happiness is a transient state dependent on many conditions, and unrealistic because life is unpredictable and pain may arise at any time.

All suffering comes from wanting your own happiness.
Complete awakening arises from the intention to help others.
Therefore, exchange completely your happiness
For the suffering of others—this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

Forget about being happy. Put it right out of your mind. When you say to yourself, “I want to be happy,” you are telling yourself that you are not happy, and you start looking for something that will make you feel happy… The harder you try to be happy, the more you reinforce that belief that you are not happy…

If you were to let go of the pursuit of happiness, what would you do? To put it a bit more dramatically, suppose you were told that no matter what you did, you would never be happy. Never. What would you do with your life?

You might pay more attention to others. You might accept them just as they are, rather than looking for ways to get them to conform to your idea of how they should be. You might start relating to life itself, rather than looking to what you get out of it. You might be more willing to engage with what life brings you, with all its ups and downs, rather than always wanting it to be other than it is.

Ken McLeod “Forget Happiness

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The true meaning of success (Yogananda)

Success can only be measured

by the extent that you have inner peace and mental control

that enable you to be happy

in all circumstances.

— Yogananda

This talk was exactly what I needed to hear as I navigate a career change. My main takeaways are below, but the biggest learning is the quote above which I took liberty to turn into a poem.

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Drama or ease?

We can either meet life with tension and drama and difficulty and a sense of problem, or with ease and graciousness and fluidity.

Regular practice (I do kriya yoga meditation twice a day) helps. I am on a more even keel these days. But patterns are still running and triggers are still in operation.

Having found myself in an unnecessary and completely self-created drama vortex once again, I signed up for Your Life Is Your Practice course with Martin Aylward and Tricycle. It’s a great daily reminder of what’s what. I might need to keep doing and redoing it daily 😊

The quote above is from the course and explains our choices at any moment in time. Hope you remember to choose ease/peace.

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Chaos and order

I am reading a wonderful book The Heart Aroused by David Whyte, a half Scottish, half Irish poet living in America. The whole book is a gem — full of poetic and philosophic reflections on what 9-5 corporate work does to our souls. In chapter 7, Whyte talks about Rilke’s views on chaos and order. I’ve summarised them above. It rhyming was an unexpected bonus ☺️

Rilke finds a marvellous rested simplicity by living out what we normally call ‘the balancing act’, but he would see it more truly in terms of a vibrant tension between opposites. His life is neither the notes nor the silence between the notes but the music that arises out of sound and silence felt as a living whole. Stop choosing, he says, between chaos and order, and live at the boundary between them, where rest and action move together. You can never eliminate the process of chaos from existence, but equally, you cannot completely cover over the calmness that lies at the centre of everything. Embrace reality by embracing both. Stop choosing!

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“You can never see where the Tao is going”

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How to alleviate anger in 3 seconds

Shunmyō Masuno is a Zen Buddhist priest who wrote How to let things go (the quote above is from it). I needed to let go of some righteous anger so bought Masuno’s book. I love the affirmation above. I used it for anger and negative emotions in general. It works.

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“May practice become a path”

May my heart turn to practice
May practice become a path
May this path dissolve confusion
May confusion become wisdom

—Ken McLeod

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A lesson from a window

When we stayed in Sicily, our flat had 3 layer windows – a blackout part, a glass window and a mosquito net. For the duration of our stay, I complained that the flat was stuffy and opening windows did not help. Little did I know—and only realised at the end of our stay—that I was opening only the blackout part thinking I opened a window and so not letting air in.

This realisation made me wonder—how many more “windows” in my life I did not open correctly? How many “windows” have an unusual design and layers to them that require stopping and thinking and seeing them without the familiar assumptions of how “windows” work?

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“Unbroken calmness” and “The terrors of mundane delusion”

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Breathe in before talking (Ken McLeod)

It is all about remembering and acting from the right place rather than reacting. Of course, the trick is to remember to breathe in in the first place 😂 It’s a whole practice on its own.

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The spiritual spring clean 🤓

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