Mission self love – does the shoe fit? #happiness

I can’t believe that I have been wearing size 5 shoes for so long while being size 4,5. Once we moved to a place where I had to walk a considerable distance across the country side, I have become aware of the poor fit – my feet hurt, it felt uncomfortable and walking became a problem. I also realised that all these years I lived knowing that I wore shoes in the wrong size and yet tolerated it. Why was I ok with it? Why would I not buy shoes in the right size?

Practically speaking I was an urban dweller in my previous life and so I did not need to walk for too long. Also it is easier to buy shoes in a full size and the choice of styles is bigger. Style mattered more than comfort (so no walking boots). But most importantly I thought that the ill fitting shoes were ok, that it was worth the pain, that it was good enough. Once I tried size 4,5 shoes (thank you, Clarks), I could not believe the comfort, the fit, the ease of walking. But I still continued to wear mostly shoes in size 5. I looked for lifehacks, for example I put in soles to improve the fit. Improvement was marginal. Mad, right?

And then just like that while exploring self compassion (aka self love) this year I decided I had enough. I deserve the best. I deserve that my shoes fit. I am embracing my true shoe size and I am not going to settle for anything less. I am only going to get what is best for me.

This story is about shoes but shoes are also a metaphor. How many of us are wearing the ‘wrong shoes’ – at work, in relationships, in life, not being authentic, putting others before us, settling for ‘good enough’, lying to ourselves and the world and living the lie? Have you outgrown your job? Are you not into the person anymore? Do you hate where you live? Have you had enough of ‘ill fitting shoes’?

It’s a big first step to pause and notice that you have the ‘wrong size shoes’ on. Think – why are you doing this? Do you think this is what you deserve? If you were advising somebody else in the same situation, would you advise them to settle for what they’ve got even if it’s wrong for them? The second big step is to do something about it. I just ordered a pair of size 4,5 walking boots.

About nomadoftheuniverse

Nomad of the Universe, nobody special, Buddhist, student of Ram Dass. I write about happiness, meaning and spirituality. My book on Love Addiction is out on Amazon now.
This entry was posted in love, self and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Mission self love – does the shoe fit? #happiness

  1. ksbeth says:

    this is such a great post, i also have always done something similar and recently went for a change to my real size. what an amazing metaphor for life

    Liked by 1 person

Any thoughts, comments?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.