This week let’s take a step back from the fascinating subject of love crushes (see the previous week’s post here, if you missed it), and look at our internal language.
How do you talk with yourself? Are you being your harshest critic? Do you have a tough, never forgiving, never happy voice inside your head who keeps bashing you on a regular basis? It’s ok, we all do. Have you ever considered that you can change that? The famous example is answering a ‘How are you?’ question with ‘Amazing’ or ‘Sparkling’ 🙂 instead of usual ‘Not bad’ (it has ‘bad’ in it!).
It’s one thing to believe that self love is essential to happiness, and another to actually express it on a regular basis and monitor how you talk to yourself, to correct the deviations.
Every unhappiness arising inside is the awakening pain body. Stop its negative impact on you by becoming aware of it. I recently started taking notice of negative thoughts (‘You can not do this’, ‘You will suck’, ‘You look awful’, ‘This is not funny to anyone’, ‘You screwed up again’, etc) and stopping them before they take over. I chuckle and say ‘Whatever’, or I smile, or I give a strong positive counter statement (eg ‘Action beats inaction’) and it works! So,
- Become aware of a negative or unhappy thought arising in you
- Counteract it with a strong positive statement – facts, reassurance, joke, forgiveness
- Move on, and do whatever you were planning to do anyway