My loneliness was shaped like absence.
I had not fear — but terror — of it,
Sobbing into a pillow every night,
Grasping at people, things and moments
To fill the void.

I felt alone in a large family in a small house,
Watching fireworks from a hospital window,
Holding my newborn son,
And during bathroom panic attacks,
Being crushed by the void.

Loneliness had a strong gravitational pull.
Deep space freezing blood in my veins.
Chokehold tight squeezing my chest.
Foundational, primal, an existential threat.
Fight or flight. Abandonment, failure,
Unlovable, not enough.

I stopped feeling lonely
When I learned to be present.
Being here and now.
Not running from anything,
Especially myself.

I stopped feeling lonely
When I searched for myself,
But found only emptiness,
And wondered — who was feeling lonely?
Being nothing and everything,
I found myself in a flower,
Sky, clouds, trees and birds.

I stopped feeling lonely
When I opened my heart to love.
A love like a summer lake —
Quiet, warm and deep.
Whispering, “You’re home.”
Not love for one, but for everything.

You can’t feel lonely when you are HERE.
You can’t feel lonely when you are everything.
You can’t feel lonely when you live in love.
Love is the answer. Love is the message.
Love waits on the other side of loneliness.
Sit with her and listen.