Do you sometimes feel like you are stubbornly repeating the same pattern in your life, eg jumping between jobs, people, places, where each scenario ends similarly to the previous one, and you understand that this is not working out, that you need to break this pattern or you need a new better pattern, yet you keep running, just looping around the never ending circle?
Why do we run in circles? Why do we chase our tails? Why are we too stubborn to stop and admit that this is not working? I narrowed it down to one word – resistance.
When there is conflict in your life, or lack of balance, when something is not working out, again and again, when you feel stubbornness arising and stopping you from something or sending you on the run, away from addressing the issue once and for all, while you feel like a hamster in a wheel, or your mind does, you might be resisting something.
What are you resisting? Why are you resisting it? Is it the need to to be in control? Why, because you are afraid of uncertainty? What else are you afraid of? (see DULL) The root of resistance lies in fears, so if you can figure out what you are afraid of, you will understand why you resist. Beware, in turn resistance can mask itself with values and ideals, eg I am not being treated fairly at work, so I will leave and find a job where I am treated fairly. Or my boss is being unfair, so I’ll tell him that he is full of b/s, resign with a bang and move on to pastures new (while forever feeling that I might have handled this situation better).
It does not work until you address your resistance. Unmask it. Face the underlying fears. And then accept them. Accept the situation you created. Accepting does not mean substracting from yourself. Accepting means you stop resisting.
It’s not a one off unfortunately. You can’t just tell yourself, ok, that’s it, I stop resisting. Your ego will agree, then continue building resistance, while masking it with ideals. You need to audit your thoughts and emotions, on a daily basis, you need to be present to be aware, you need to constantly work on diminishing your ego power – it’s a process.
What’s the antidote to resistance? Being truly open minded, open to possibilities, accepting your situation, uncertainty, your resistance, your fears, going with the flow 100%, not letting fears and emotions, your ego drive your behaviour and decisions.
My promise to myself is that this time, in application to my situation, I will not resist and see where it gets me. Whenever I find myself creating a conflict, I will suspect resistance. It’s not me being treated unfairly, it’s not life going in the wrong direction, it’s my fear filled ego resisting what is, sending me on a never ending run away from my fears, away from scary (yet possibility rich) uncertainty, on what it does not realise is a circular journey. This time I break the pattern. I accept. I let life be as it is. I trust the Universe. And I will see what happens.