The team I am in at the moment is not the friendliest bunch, at least to the newcomers. Everyone is polite of course but there is not much caring or bonding going on. Everyone to their own means.
We went to get lunch, I fell behind and as I was trying to catch up with them, somewhere in the middle of the industrial estate in the northern town, walking behind and watching their backs, I felt more than ever that I did not belong with these people.
I did not want to belong with the people who did not care.
But then I also did not belong in the advertising agency (team was amazing! leadership not so much). I did not belong in the financial services (cut throat competitiveness, politics and carefully guarded hierarchy are not my thing). I did not belong in a not for profit and a start up. I did not belong back home and at times I feel that I do not belong where I am now, in London (devilish commute, crowds, uncleanliness and everything so expensive!).
I only fully belong when I am with my little one. I used to feel the same with my friends, before I left them behind and moved to London. As I was thinking about it, realising that the feeling is not completely alien to me, a warm feeling of peace and belonging blanketed me, and suddenly it stroke me – I do belong somewhere else, somewhere bigger, I belong in the Universe!
Well, of course! I looked at the rustling autumn leaves, heavy clouds, cheerfully bright berries – we were all one, all interconnected, constantly recycling into one another in the cycle of life. And suddenly the heavy unpleasant egoic feeling was gone, replaced with the feeling of purpose, peace and harmony.
Next time you feel you don’t belong – pause. Look around. Reconnect with the Universe, with everything around you. Feel the unconditional love and universal belonging. Wow. You don’t need to run, to escape, to switch, to change anything, to keep up, to keep searching. Try stopping, absorbing, accepting, broadening and enlarging. And suddenly it all makes absolute sense and Universe is inside of you pushing the petty ego aside.